Saint Aura (plinksnotdead) wrote,
Saint Aura
plinksnotdead

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"Ballroom Blitz!"

TITLE: "Ballroom Blitz!"
FANDOM: Good Charlotte.
RATING: PG for quite a bit of swearing from the Benj.
PAIRING(S): Er, none really...
SUMMARY: It's dancing in P.E. class, but what happens when there are more guys in the class than girls? (based on a true story. :-P)
STATUS: Finished.

DISCLAIMER: I don't own the waltz, Benji, Joel or Aaron. Mr. Gaal and Ms. Colombo are real P.E. teachers from my school (the concept of "gym" class is foreign to me, we have P.E. in Australia.), complete with Mr. Gaal's sadistic personality. Uh, I think that's it.

"Ballroom Blitz!"

by Saint Aura.

"Fuck!" Benji yelled, storming into the boy's locker rooms and kicking the door of his locker.
"What's wrong now?" Joel asked, tying up his shoelaces. He'd got to P.E. with enough time to get changed before they were meant to be outside, waiting for the teacher, but Benji never was actually on time for anything.

"I was talkin' to Eric, right? He says we gotta do some fuckin' dance course assessment for gym now!" Benji cried, a little too dramatically, tugging at his locker door. It was already temperamental, his kick had caused it to just mess with him further.

"Seriosly? Aw man." Joel muttered, sticking his hands in his pockets as he leaned against his own locker - complete with a fully functional door.

"Yeh, I heard that too." Aaron added, randomly wandering in to their conversation. "It sucks. I always liked gym before!"

That was the difference between the twins and their friend Aaron. Aaron was a natural athlete, complete with a football player's build and naturally bleached-blonde hair. Benji and Joel were just... well, they often jokingly called each other "dork", which seemed to do them justice.

Aaron liked P.E., the twins didn't. Either way, neither of them wanted to do dancing.

"What kinda dancing?" Joel asked as the three headed out to the main section of the gym together.
"Ballroom, I heard. Waltzing and that kinda shit."
"Fuck." Joel muttered, rubbing the bridge of his nose with his thumb and forefinger. He always seemed to do that when he was nervous, or annoyed.

The three sat down together at the bottom of the bleachers, listening to the conversations taking place around them. From what it sounded like, yep, they were doing dancing.

"Alright class, for your last assessment this semester, your grade will have to fulfill the requirements listed in your school performance criteria. In layman's terms, you will all have to be able to waltz, jive and cha-cha by the end of next week." the short, blonde and quite dumpy teacher announced to the P.E. class spread around the gym, who all seemed to groan in unison.

<"You are an individual, just like everyone else...">

"I'm going to split you into two groups, boys and girls. Boys over there with Mr. Gaal," the short and dumpy P.E. teacher (actually named Ms. Colombo.) gestured towards the tall and bald P.E. teacher, "and girls over with me."

The class split, half this way and half that. Benji and Joel hung towards the back of the group, silently hoping that maybe they would be overlooked.

"Line up, across the yellow line. First I have to teach you the box waltz, then we'll practice with partners." Mr. Gaal said, standing hands by his sides, feet together.

"Dancing is wonderully sexist, of course in the gentleman's favour." he grinned cheekily. "You'll be leading, starting with the left foot. Leading is generally easier than following, because you get to go forward, the girl doesn't, you get to control the movements, the girl doesn't and everyone knows that boys are better than girls."

Benji grinned, and Joel punched him lightly in the arm. "Dude, that's not cool." he whispered in his brother's ear. Benji snorted.
"It's Gaal dude, shut up."

"Left leg first, take a step forward, then right leg forward, but don't place down, step to the side on your right foot, and place your left foot next to it." the teacher instructed, demonstrating the steps as he explained them. It didn't look too difficult, actually.

"Well this is fuckin' easy." Aaron muttered, sticking his foot out a little too far, purposely of course. Joel didn't notice and tripped over, falling into Benji and pulling him down with him.

"Shit dude! What the fuck was that for?" Benji hissed, standing back up. Joel turned red and slowly rose, to the mild amusement of the rest of the class.

"Mr. Madden's, seeing as you're so very skilled, would you like to come down the front of the class?" the teacher smirked at the pair. Both rolled their eyes and made their way to the front of the class.

Within minutes the class seemed to have mastered the beginner's box waltz. Mr. Gaal nodded appreciatively and walked over to Ms. Colombo, to ask if the boys and girls were ready to dance together yet.

Apparently her answer was an affirmative, because the boys' and girls' groups met in the middle of the gym, and paired off. Aaron smiled and immediately changed his mind about dancing when he was partnered with a pretty girl he'd had his eye on for a while, but no girls wanted to dance with Benji or Joel.

"Goddamn!" Benji said, kicking the floor. There were 28 in the class, 13 girls and 15 boys. 13 of the girls were partnered with 13 of the boys, leaving two left - Benji and Joel.
"Just shut the fuck up, man." Joel replied, folding his arms across his chest.
"You shut up." Benji responded, snarling a little. He really hated P.E. class.

Mr. Gaal, always eager to mock his students, chose that moment to come over to the bickering pair.

"I'm afraid you do have to practice this part with a partner boys, so you'll have to dance with each other. One of you can be the boy, the other will have to be the girl." he said rather offhandedly, moving on to help another couple.

"Right, boys. Take the girls hand like this-" Ms. Colombo demonstrated with Mr. Gaal, "then and place your hand on her hip, or just under her shoulder blade. Not on her butt, no matter how much you want to." she said, causing a snicker to go around the gym, and "Eek!"'s from a few girls.

"You be the girl." Joel said, looking his brother up and down.
"I am so not being the girl!" Benji said. "You be the girl."
"Fine, I'll be the girl." Joel muttered, letting Benji take his hand. He closed his eyes, briefly trying to imagine that he was not about to waltz with his twin brother. Maybe with Britney Spears.

"Girls, place your hand on his shoulder." Mr. Gaal instructed. Joel placed his hand on the shoulder just ahead of him, and felt a hand place itself on his waist. He gulped. His dancing-with-Britney imagery was not working.

"I'll count you in, then you start, okay? We'll go through the movements four times, then stop." Ms. Colombo said.
"One, two, three."

Benji gulped, looking down at his feet the whole time. One, two, three. Left, right, left.

"Fuck! Benji, what the fuck was that for?"
"Oh. Sorry." he muttered, concentrating a little harder on where he placed his feet. On top of his twins' feet did not seem like such a good option.

Benji managed to dance without looking at his feet, grinning as the teacher stopped counting and they moved back to where the had started.

"Once again. One, two, three."

Feeling a little more confident this time, Joel also tried to dance without looking. He thought he had it for a moment, then -

"Joel! Get the fuck off my foot!"
"Well get your hand off my ass!"
"My hand is not on your ass, ass!"
"Boys!" Ms. Colombo yelled at the both of them. "Swap over, Joel, you be the girl."
"I'm Benji."
"Oh. Sorry."

Benji and Joel swapped, both pretending they were alternately invisible or dancing with a hot chick. Of course, neither was working too well for them.

"Joel," Benji muttered through gritted teeth, "either you move your hand up, or I'll stick something up your ass!"
"Fuck you." Joel replied, moving his foot a little too far forward, a little too heavily.
"Ow shit! Joel you muthafucker!"
"Benji! Shut. The fuck. Up!"
"You shut the fuck up!"

"Madden!"

The twins jumped apart, glad to finally be rid of each other's touch.

"That's it, either you dance quietly or you'll both be on detention."
"Yes sir." they mumbled in unison, rolling their eyes as they took each other's hands and moved closer together.

"Jackass."
"Dickwad."
"You know, dancing isn't actually that bad."
"Yeh it is."
"You're right. I hate dancing."
"Me too."
"Great."
"Yep."

Benji sighed , a thought flitting through his mind momentarily, before he realised "Oh God. I'm dancing with my brother!" and shuddered.

He still hated dancing.

THE END.
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