Saint Aura (plinksnotdead) wrote,
Saint Aura
plinksnotdead

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Chris And The Safety Razor.

TITLE: "Chris And The Safety Razor."
FANDOM: Good Charlotte.
RATING: G.
PAIRING(S): None!
SUMMARY: Chris is a tool who can't even shave properly. NOT angst!
STATUS: Finished!

DISCLAIMER: Didn't happen, isn't gonna happen. I don't think Chris is that stupid.

CHRIS AND THE SAFETY RAZOR

by saint aura* - modmadden - Aura the Rock Starr

Chris stood in front of the mirror, in the small shower-and-toilet
room (it doesn't quite deserve the title "bathroom".) of the band's
tourbus.

He took one look at the thing held in his sweaty palm and shuddered.
Strange that such a small, innocent enough looking pink safety razor
could bring forth such fear and a grown - and heavily tattooed - man.

Chris didn't want to do this. He didn't have to.

But he needed to.

What with the shows, and the groupies, and the others playing
practical jokes on him, and him playing practical jokes on the
others, he hadn't had time to shave in nearly three weeks.

His head was sprouting a nice amount of stubble. If he wanted hair,
that was.

But Chris found he fared much better bald. Getting up at three in the
afternoon was okay when he didn't have to spend an hour in the
bathroom tending to his spikes, like Benji.

Or touching up his half-black half-bleached spiked and making sure
they didn't mix, as Paul did. Well, he used to. When he had first dyed his hair.
Now Paul just gave up and let the two halves battle it out.

"Safety razor my ass." Chris muttered, turning on the hot tap. As the
water began to warm, he got out his shaving cream and smearing it
over his head, placed the razor over it and ran it through.

"God DAMMIT!" he cried. He hated shaving his head. Because of its
odd contours and curves, not even the best of safety razors could
prevent the onslaught of sharp metal on soft skin.

Ten minutes and twenty-seven cuts later, Chris was done. He walked
out of the "bathroom", pulling his favourite LeVel27 baseball cap
over his shiny top.

"Dude, were you in a car accident?" Benji asked, looking up from the
game of MarioKart he was playing with Billy.

"No. I was shaving my head." Chris said, sitting next to them.

"Why don't you just use one of those safety electric razors with the
plastic thingy over the blades to stop them cutting your skin?" Joel
asked.

Chris paused, then closed his eyes and breathed in deeply.

"Oh God...!!!"

THE END

My sister uses this odd electric razor with a safety guard to stop it
cutting you when she shaves her head. My sister is 11.

Any of you know the author Liberty Spiked? I'ma gonna do that to her,
too!

Maybe. We've just started school holidays and I'm gonna pin her down
and shave her scalp.

Hee.

Review, please? Free beach balls!
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