FANDOM: Good Charlotte ripped off my real life.
RATING: M15+ because fuck and cunt are my favourite words. Whoops!
PAIRING(S): Joel/OFC, Chris/OFC.
SUMMARY: Everybody hates Joel, and with good reason.
Sequel to "Late Night Notepad."
You know who's awesome?
You know why he's awesome?
Because he's not Joel Madden.
You know why that makes him awesome?
Because Joel Madden is a fucktard.
I was in love with Joel Madden once, as Chris would say. Actually, Chris would never say that, but saying, "I had/was a (inserting a random noun/verb/adjective here.) once!" is totally his style.
Well, I still am in love with him really. Even with those huge ears. And that hair. And skin. And well, all the faults you can possibly find in someone but still find them reasonably attractive.
Okay, I lie. I lie like pigs! I think he's incredibly sexy and gorgeous and attractive and cute and sweet and nice and phwoar even when he is being a cocktard, which is all the time.
He just can't help sucking, can he?
He is not a nice person, contrary to popular thought. He's rude, violent, arrogant, and a good singer. Wait, why did I put that last part in? Oh well. He is, though. All of those things.
He always used to go on about how Benji was a real cunt, a horrible person. But today I spent a few hours sitting in a random room with Benji, singing and playing guitar. Billy was with us, and so was Chris. I broke the ceiling fan, I threw Chris' shoe at it. It had it coming. The fan I mean, not the shoe. Chris wasn't very happy when he realised his shoe had been used to attack the fan, however Benji and Billy found it terribly amusing. Even more so when Chris and Benji's hats made their way up into the fan!
Sitting around with three guitars and three guitarists is fun. Especially because I was sitting on Chris. I almost wish Joel had been there so that he could have seen that I'm not sitting around depressed and avoiding him and all his friends just because he dumped me.
"You know," Joel said, moving to sit down next to Aura, "I hadn't even thought about breaking up with you until you suggested it."
Aura shifted away. Sitting next to someone you suspected was dumping you was never fun, especially not with her finger nails.
"But when you suggested it, I started thinking. I thought about not doing anything, and just letting you hate me so you'd eventually break up with me."
"Yeh, but I wouldn't do that." Aura said hoarsely. Goddamn huge brown innocent eyes. Aura had never been once for innocent brown eyes herself, but Joel's were huge. That almost made up for them not being blue.
"That's what I thought." he looked down at her. He wasn't tall, but he looked down at her. Fuckin' aye! Maybe that's why he liked having her around, it made him feel tall. Like the day years ago, in high school, when she met Paul.
The boy in the large black coat came over and stood on her toes. She winced. Although it didn't hurt, it's the thought that counts, right?
"Steel-capped boots, I like this one!" Black Coat leaned on her shoulder.
"And she's shorter than me!" Yes, Black Coat easily loomed over her, he was quite disturbing.
"Who the hell are you?!"
"Paul. And you, fair lady?"
"Shortarse Aura with steel-capped boots, I like having you around!"
"Look, Aura. I've thought about it, and I think we should break up. It's not working."
"There's nothing I can say that can make you change your mind, is there?"
She stormed off, about to cry. She didn't though, but she wanted to.
"Hey, why did you dump Joel?" Benji asked, popping up from behind her.
"Fuck!" she howled. "Benji!"
"Sorry!" he grinned. "So, why'd you dump him?"
"I, I didn't. He dumped me." she said, looking away.
"Me and Joel broke up." Aura threw her arms around Billy's neck. He smiled, but she couldn't see that.
"Already? I mean, good!"
Billy was secretly glad. Secretly.
"You're way too good for him, he's a fucktard."
"He is not!"
"He dumped, you didn't he?"
"Doesn't mean I don't still love him."
"Of course I fucking do!"
"And he's a fucktard."
"And you still want to go out with him?"
Billy shook his head. He had crazy friends sometimes.
The old hot chip shop, the same as in high school. Around the table Benji, Billy, Chris, Paul, assorted girlfriends, friends, and hangers-on. Aura had somehow been pushed next to the also newly-single Chris, who was eying off Billy's pleasing-looking friend. She'd already said no, but it didn't mean he wasn't allowed to stare. Did it?
"So Aura, when are you going to go out with Chris?"
Aura looked at the guy next to her. Not like Joel in the slightest, not even attractive. Well, maybe a little bit. The kind of hot that you had to let grow on you, just as long as you liked the person. Not like Joel where you saw him and went "Phwoar!", except that only stupid crazy people like Aura do that, and teenies. Aura hated teenies.
Someone started up a game of truth or dare. Billy and Benji kissed, that was nothing new. Benji looked over at Chris.
"Truth or dare?"
Aura smirked. "Yeh, why won't you kiss me?"
"Fine then!" Chris leaned in and gave her a short, hard smack, right on the lips.
"Aw come on, there was no tongue!" Benji howled, smacking the table. His girlfriend promptly smacked him and Aura had a brilliant idea.
"Anyone wanna let me borrow their phone? I wanna smess Joel." she asked.
"You say smess?" Billy's pleasing-looking friend asked.
"Yes, it's quicker than SMS." Aura replied.
"That's really sad." Paul put in.
"Hey, I say messen instead of MSN!" the pleasing-looking friend added.
"Now that is sad!" Aura said. "Now come on, someone gimme a phone!"
"What are you going to say?"
"I'm going to send him a smess saying "I hate you."
"Ooohh, can I do that too?"
Every single person at the table besides Aura pulled out their phones and started typing "I hate you!" with variations such as "i h8 u1" and "eye h8 yu."
Almost made her wish she had a phone.
"Wait Aura, you should send one too!" Benji said. "No wait, send one from you and Chris."
"Oooh, good idea." Billy said, looking up from his phone.
Chris shrugged and added "Chris+Aura" to the end of his smess.
"Alright, send them in three, two, one, now." Benji hit "send" and everyone sat back, waiting from a response from Joel.
Aura and Chris smiled at each other, just a little.
Two days later, he asked her out. Four days later, Joel walked past them on the tour bus -- for Chris and the rest had invited her along on their "girlfriends and extras" tour -- and caught them kissing in the corridor.
Shocked and well, shocked, he punched the wall and walked off.
Better than punching Chris and walking off, don't you think?
"I love you Chris."
"I love you Aura."
Joel really hated watching them like that.
"Sorry Joel, but you dumped me, remember?"
Oh hell he remembered.
And that's why I think Chris Wilson is awesome, just because he's not Joel Madden.